Recently I encountered a YouTube Video on the definition of the “bases” for differently oriented People. Some of the things I heard reminded me of some (to me) ridiculous discussions I have had with male exes on the subject of sex.

The conflict was basically that they blamed me for “not coming during sex”. This always struck me as quite strange – because I communicated quite clearly what was needed to pleasure me, but these activities where not considered “sex” because a penis was not necessary. I do not know if it is because of my bisexuality that I am not so fixated on what my partners genitalia are and on using them for reaching orgasm.

Please don’t understand me wrong – genital penetration is awesome (for me). However some of my sexual partners displayed a blatant lack of the ability to apprehend the fact that while genital intercourse stimulates their center of pleasure it does not do so for me. I wondered if I picked especially emotionally retarded partners or if this is a common problem for women.

Even if I was to assume that I am the only woman in the world who needs to be stimulated clitoral to climax, should a mature partner not accept this about me and adjust his sexual expectations to the reality that I can offer? So I talked to my female friends to find out:

One woman has had one sexual partner who could pleasure her with only genital intercourse because of an especially good fitting of their genitalia but none of the others ever could. Those were, however, open to other additional practices.

Another woman basically had my exact problem, but she accepted that her partner was unwilling to please her sexually after a while and faked her orgasms since then for 1.5 years!

I had done the same at 19, but at 28 I simply was not willing to fake it anymore. I still wonder how common this problem is and how many women are taking this injustice. Also I would like to say that I am still owed many, many orgasms – yes, once I felt the double digits of orgasms that I gave and never received were reached I did start counting.

Also this message goes to my last ex: I curse you to never be gone down on ever again in your entire life, and you know why!!!